February 25, 2014 

I am 23 and I have never had sex. I plan on waiting until I’m married. About 3% of Americans wait until marriage to have sex. That is 1 in 30 people. To write about the reasons why I have remained abstinent from sex is something I hope touches someone in a positive way. It is only by the grace of God that I am still waiting. Waiting to have sex isn’t old fashioned or unrealistic to me because waiting to have sex is truth from God and His word is forever, not old fashioned. Before you continue reading, pause your current music and listen to Mount Zion by Jonathan Helser; I wrote to this masterpiece tonight. Here go the top five reasons why I am personally waiting.

I want to express my love to Jesus Christ and that I believe in His word.

I have always thought of my purity as a way to tell God that I take His word rather seriously. If I were to speak it aloud it would be something like this, “Hey, God. I know how much you love me and this is how much I love you even though it’s not an ounce back of how much you love me. It’s just one way to show that I honor, love, and believe in your word. I know you do this for me.” He has my best interest at heart and He does for your heart too. “For the word of the LORD holds true, and we can trust everything he does” (Psalm 33:4).

I want to be an example for others the best way I can.

Honestly, I just want to live my life as an example for others according to God’s word. I’m not good at many things nor am I a saint, but sex and marriage mean a lot to me. Patience is obviously a virtue in waiting for marriage to have sex, but it is very possible. In your relationship you certainly do not need to prove your love to each other by having sex. Try not to put yourself in tempting situations. It’s as simple as that. My purity isn’t just that I’ve never done the deed (yes, I just said that), but it’s the expression of my hope in God’s word and how He says to be a light for others. Satan is attacking multitudes of millions of people of my generation with this temptation and in turn hurting their heart and souls. God does this for us. Trust in Him that He knows what He is talking about when it comes to this. He’s not down on sex. I mean, He did create sex after all. He’s just not for all the hurting and consequences that come after doing it. It’s for you really. There are excessively many people thinking that waiting to have sex is unrealistic or just not with the modern times. As a Christian, God is so real and so His word is realistic and perfectly applicable to my life today. His word is forever and we should forever be examples of His word; this is how we continue to grow as a body of Christ. “In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 5:14-16).

I desire to be an example for my future children.

There is a good chance if I wait so will my children by raising them to value sex. I can tell my children at the proper age how “mama, mom, mother” didn’t suffer from the emotional scars and let downs that pre-marital sex offers among so many other things. In addition, perhaps they will take my words more seriously as a mother as I have the actions to back them up. Or maybe they won’t, but here’s to trying. Oh motherhood how I look forward to what you bring. “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

It’s a strong way to show my future husband that those vows we’ll be saying to each other will hold true for me.

What is a way that I can show and tell my future husband that I will honor our marriage vows and love him all the days of my life? What is a way (surely not the only way but a pretty main one) that he can trust me in our marriage? Trust is so vital in relationships and there is an abundant amount of ways to show mistrust today. I want him to know that growing up into who I am today, most days I knew my worth in Christ alone and tried to respect him way ahead of time and before I even knew him. My purity is something I have saved for one man not because God says too, but because of the reasons behind it. There are chains that can be so hard to break once you bond sexually with someone. It’s also a proven psychological thing that has a lot to do with a chemical called dopamine, hormones called oxytocin and vasopressin, and add some some neuro circuits and neurochemicals in the mix too. It goes beyond just sex though. I will never love him more than God, but I can show my love and faithfulness in our marriage to him by waiting and in this hope that he understands my sincere loyalty to him as his wife and as a woman of Christ. “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:11-12).

I want to glorify Jesus Christ.

I live to glorify Him. I’m sure it would be lovely to marry one day but if I didn’t? I’m not really out anything because I have God, and that’s actually better than a spouse! We all know that though. I think we can give glory to God when people ask us how in the world we waited for marriage to have sex. That’s where we can point to Jesus Christ and His grace. For me, to be married to Christ is my one and only true deepest joy in this life. I’m exquisitely honored to be His bride. I cannot imagine how much love He has for us. It’s unimaginable but believable and real– so real. “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31).

So everyone is having sex. Okay minus the 1 in 30. Nevertheless, do I want to be everyone? Do you want to fit the societal status quo that typically leads to an unsatisfactory relationship or follow the higher road that leads to ultimate satisfaction from God? Together let’s stand for God’s holy word, be different, and encourage others to follow God’s straight and narrow path. Let’s choose God, purity, and be a light together. I’m a 23 year old woman who has kept my purity by God’s unfailing love and grace and I’m not ashamed about it.

“To us, waiting is wasting. To God, waiting is working.” – Louie Giglio

95 thoughts on “5 reasons why I’m a virgin at age 23

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