Why Marriage is For Me

Marriage has moved my life in a stunning, profound way; in ways that couldn’t be had I not been married. The things I’ve heard or have been told while I was single never altered the beauty I believed God created in marriage. I remember things like, “Enjoy your singleness while you still can!” or “marriage isn’t all that.” Despite what a lot of people said about it, this is why marriage is absolutely for me.

Marriage is for me, because it so knowingly exposes every crevasse of my sinful heart, making the necessity for Gods intervention—which draws me closer to Him.

Marriage is for me, because I struggle with accepting help and resting. My husband helps burn down my stubborn walls—which produces humility.

Marriage is for me, because we’re both experiencing conformity to the image of Christ still, which means there’s still sin in our lives so we’ll hurt each other. This teaches me grace upon grace—the same grace God gives me everyday.

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The One Thing to Remember When Someone says Sin is the Cause of your Disease

You have a disease. It cripples your mornings, costs your afternoons, and keeps you up at night. You take whatever medicine the doctor tells you to take, get sick of it, try a homeopathic way, can’t do it alone, go back to your medicine, change doctors, try to find a happy medium. Start all over again.

You’re sick.

You’re tired.

You’re sick and tired of what people tell you about why you’re sick when every part of your body that’s hurting feels like it has its own heartbeat.

Then someone tells you you’re sick because of the sin in your life. You’ve heard the speeches about how you should eat better and that you did this to yourself, but you haven’t heard this before.

Please remember this one thing dear friend:

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Why I Won’t Accept My Illness, but I’ll Accept the Battle

I was once asked what I’ve learned from living with an incurable disease. I didn’t really have a determinate answer, but I did say having chronic illness has given me a deeper compassion, one I can’t quite explain. Being a young woman in her mid-20s, most people think I’m in perfect health. However, on the outside, I look nothing like what my body has really felt like for the past three years.  

Swelling, joint pain, raw stiffness, throbbing muscles, needle-burning pain and fatigue were just some of the things my body woke to one September morning in Colorado. My body was not my own; everything from my knees, shoulders, hips and hands were all in pain. I limped to my bathroom to brush my teeth, but my hand couldn’t hold the toothbrush.

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3 Times a Special Needs Child did the Perfect Thing, and They had No Idea What I was Going Through

Throughout the three short years I’ve had of working with elementary special needs children, there have been several encounters that brought me to tears of joy. I feel like sharing three of these precious moments with you to let you know just how comforting a child that’s “different” really can be, even when they don’t know what you’re going through.

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When Jesse hugged me after I was diagnosed with a chronic illness called systemic lupus in April of 2014.

Jesse had a traumatic brain injury. He also had a speech impairment and needed help in many different ways. I loved helping him. The day after I was officially diagnosed, I was sitting at the lunch table with Jesse in the cafeteria and he was playing with orange slices in his mouth. He put one in his mouth, like we all did when we were little to show the other person that our smile was in fact not teeth, but an orange’s skin. I giggled, but the smile didn’t reach my eyes. He looked at me for more than three seconds and said, “Nee hug.” He reached out his arms gesturing me to come to him, but it sounded more like, “Come he, come he.” I scooted towards him and hugged him, feeling like he became the adult and I was all of a sudden a child in desperate need of a hug. I instantly felt like everything was going to be OK. A child’s hug is everything.

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